BREAKING NEWS: Someone has abducted my favorite Braves hat; Ransom demands are imminent

Someone, possibly a headless santa with pyromaniacal tendencies and scissors, has stolen my hat and is now sending me ransom pictures. Clearly, they have not seen “Taken.”

Suspects? Only one: Frank Wren.

One out of two past-their-prime stars ain’t bad: Glavine signs with Braves

AJC reports it’s for $1 million guaranteed with another $3.5 million in health-based incentives. He gets $1 million for making the active roster, $1.25 million after 30 days on the roster and another $1.25 mil after 60 days.

Francoeur signs one-year deal with Braves

The deal allows both parties to avoid arbitration, which is almost exactly what you’ll read below. But check out what I’ve bolded:

Francoeur and the Braves avoided arbitration late Wednesday night when they agreed to terms on a one-year, $3.375 million contract, which includes incentives that could push his earnings this year to $3.4 million.

25 grand? Really? That’s all the incentive the Braves offer after he has an absolutely terrible year? You have to wonder how much time was spent negotiating over those 25 g’s. It also makes you think Frank Wren is either excellent at negotiating (doubtful) or a total trifler (likely); the later would explain his failing with Griffey, Smoltz, Furcal, Peavy, and Burnett.

Anyway, Francoeur is a Brave for at least one more year. Obviously I’m not thrilled about it. The man had a VORP of -17.8 last year (meaning that he scored or was responsible for nearly 18 less runs than the average right fielder) and a WARP of -0.9 (meaning that w/o Francoeur in the lineup, the Braves record would’ve been one game better). Your ‘franchise’ player is supposed to produce runs and win you games, not the other way around. I guess the good news is that he’s projected by Baseball Prospectus to have a .273/.326/.440 line with 19 HRs and 74 RBIs, good for 7.8 VORP and a 1.8 WARP, which is not exactly good but I guess we have to take what we can get.

Chipper Jones, suddenly prescient

From the AJC:

Jones had talked to Griffey daily for the past week and seemed confident he was coming to the Braves. “But I’m not going to smile until he’s signed,” Jones said, alluding to the previous times the Braves were jilted this winter.

It’s official (for real this time): Griffey is a Mariner again and my childhood dreams are shattered

Griffey watch is over. ESPN reports that he is going back to the Mariners.

“He’s coming home. … I can’t begin to tell you how ecstatic we are. He is, too,” Seattle general manager Jack Zduriencik confirmed on Wednesday night, calling Griffey “arguably one of the greatest athletes to ever play in the Seattle area.”

Two baseball sources said that Griffey made his decision after two days of debating between Atlanta, which is close to his home in Orlando, Fla., and Seattle, where he’s been a fan favorite since breaking in with the Mariners as a 19-year-old phenom in 1989.

“Ken is extremely excited to be coming back to Seattle,” Zduriencik said.

The contract is for one year and $2 million guaranteed and includes incentives that could bring the total value of the deal to $4.5 million, a source said.

Frank Wren, you’ve failed me yet again.

Or not

ESPN sources now say Griffey’s going back to Seattle. Oh well.

Griffey Watch: Junior tells his friends he’s heading to Atlanta

So I realize Griffey will probably have minimal influence on the Braves but damn I’m excited anyway. Fannation says he’s been telling friends he’s going to play for the Braves. As Deadspin points out, it’s like the 90s all over again. But not nearly as good. Speaking o the 90s, this year marks the 10th anniversary of the Braves last World Series appearance, which, as you might recall, was a shelling/sweep by those probably steroid-ridden Yankees.

It’s Official (or almost): Ken Griffey Jr. will be a Brave in ‘09

Even after taking into account his significantly diminished skill, I’m excited about this; it brings back memories from when I was nine and used to argue with my friend over who would be him when we played baseball in my back yard.

The deal is supposed to be around $2 million with incentives for plate appearances. While his ‘08 season was unremarkable/poor (18 HRs, .249/.353 /.424), he played well in 2007, knocking in 30 HRs with a .277/.372/.496 line.

EDIT: The source cited in the AJC article is apparently wrong.

The 39-year-old said he hopes to make a decision “later today or early tomorrow morning.”

However, citing a source that is close to the veteran star and familiar with the ongoing negotiations, The Atlanta-Journal Constitution reported on Tuesday that Griffey has chosen the Braves over the Mariners.

Both Griffey and his agent, Brian Goldberg, said that story was not accurate.

Junior Griffey to the Braves?

Looks like it might happen. Says ESPN:

N:
If the Braves don’t sign Griffey, they could turn to veteran Garret Anderson as a fallback. But sources said that Griffey is Atlanta’s prime target, and the Braves are “in the mix” for his services.

The interest is apparently mutual. Griffey lives in Orlando, Fla., where Atlanta’s spring training site is located, and has a good relationship with Braves manager Bobby Cox.

Apparently he’d share time with Matt Diaz in left. While I’m not sure how I feel about the possible move yet, it certainly is an interesting move, and one that seemingly came out of left field nowhere.

Glavine to meet with Wren to discuss tiny contract offer

$1 million is not much, but Glavine doesn’t have the insane recover-from-anything-and-become-dominant-again past that Smoltz has, making it unlikely for Red Sox-like snatching. Plus Glavine lives in Alpharetta in the off-season.

“I’m obviously in a good place financially, I don’t need the money,” Glavine said on Saturday. “But…there’s a price for everything. I don’t know how to say that without someone getting offended. In every business, there’s a price that makes it worthwhile.”

We’ll see, I guess, but it’s not like Glavine’s going to make much of a difference either way. At best, I figure him to be a 4 or 5 starter, of which we have plenty. At this point his presence on the team is more ceremonial than practical.