Some days are just rough.
For instance, this morning personal issues (which I won’t get into too much) arose and things came to a less than ideal end, the line at Pete’s was too long, I spilled water on all the sections of the Times that I wanted to read, and I got dirt all over my bed.
Then, as if God were mocking me for all those times I mocked him during Ping-Pong and Madden games, this happened. Ugh. Fuck you, AJ Burnett. If you wrote songs that were popular with anyone other than Tim Spooneybarger and I were a rapper playing at one of your beloved festivals and then you objected to me playing because I was a rapper, I’d totally play your biggest song in a mocking way just to show you what a fuck you are. Then I’d perform my hit single, “Chipper, Quit Being Such a Fucking Pussy,” followed by my new single, “How Do You Not Drive In a Single of the Six (6!) Runners You Left on Base, You Pudgy Fuck (Brian McCann, Brian McCann).”
I understand it’s hard facing a pitcher like Burnett when he is as zoned-in as he was today. But surely someone on this team can knock in just one of the eight baserunners Burnett and the suprisingly good Scott Downs allowed. As for BJ Ryan, who’d thunk giving a thirty-year old relief pitcher $55 million over five years could ever have worked out? He still has 2 and half years to make their GM look dumb (EDIT: ‘07 made him look pretty foolish but good ol’ BJ bounced back), but he was certainly lights-out today.
