While being booed during his introduction at the Home Run Derby, Utley bravely cursed the savage natives in Yankee Stadium.
Well said.
Archive for the 'Philadelphia Phillies' Category
A Brief Meditation on the Enemy
July 10, 2008
Ryan Howard is batting .234. This is bad. Like, Andruw in 2007 bad. He is on pace for 218 Ks, which would best the current MLB record, which he holds, by 19. Inconceivably, he is also on pace for 47 home runs, 145 RBIs, and 103 runs.
Larry “Chipper” Jones, on the other hand is batting .375/.472/.618 slugging. His power number predictions: 34 Home Runs, 94 RBI, and 101 runs. Despite his absurd average, the just mentioned numbers, which are what really count, are all below his 162 game average. This could be because NO ONE ELSE ON THE BRAVES CAN HIT FOR SHIT, save for McCann most of the time and Teixiera sometimes, but it is also because Chipper no longer can/wants to hit for power like he used to. Remember when they were one-hit and then two-hit in a three game series against the Dodgers? I do, goddamnit. In fairness to the Braves, the Dodgers do have the league’s lowest team ERA. But still, three hits in two games is fucking pitiful.
If you need any explanation for why the Atlanta Braves are not in first place in the NL East (other than the awful records on the road and in one-run games and the injuries and Jeff Francoeur), this is it. Only in an unfair world with no God would a player with 43 more strike outs than hits be having more of an positive impact on his team than a player who has threatened .400 for nearly three months.
Why Do I Feel Like I’ve Been Here Before?
July 10, 2008Oh, yeah.
Damn you, Braves. Drive in runs! Chipper is back. He stopped crying or raping waitresses on his ranch or whatever he does while he’s hurt, and he’s hitting again. You, rest of team, are not. Especially you, Mark Teixeira.
Ryan Howard makes two errors in the bottom of the ninth to load the bases. You come up, and what do you do? Strike out to fucking Brad Lidge. At home. In the bottom of the ninth. With the bases loaded. Somehow I suspect this to be a Scott Boras plot. Damn you both.
And you, Jeff Francoeur, are on the verge of becoming the new Andruw Jones – only without the eight years of tantalizing close-t0-greatness and the one year of absolute crushing. They won’t tag up on you on a deep fly – you can still throw like a motherfucker, but they sure as shit will love to pitch to you. With the way you’re playing, I hope that turns out to be as gay as it sounds, but in the most unsatisfying way possible, which is pretty bad, like Bretty Myers bad. Anyway, if there’s a weaker RBI in baseball, I can’t imagine what it is [Edit: it's not actually an RBI - good]:
Slumping Jeff Francoeur, who struck out in each of his first two at-bats, hit a double-play grounder off reliever Chad Durbin to drive in Teixeira.
Says Larry:
“It’s a rough time around here right now,” Jones said. “A lot of guys struggling, especially with runners on base. No one’s excluded. It’s not just one guy.”
Fucking-aye.
